Can Working Moms Have It All Or Have We Lost Our Minds?

Hello again! I am so sorry its been so long since my last post. I started this blog hoping to post twice a week (on Tuesdays and Fridays) but you can see how that’s gone! The last week and a bit have been completely crazy. Which has led me to the question  - can working moms really have it all or are we completely insane?

The past week or so has had me in a constant state of feeling like my brain is going to explode. A fiscal quarter ended at work which means I am putting out fires all day, every day as we try to close the quarter. I feel like I don’t get a moment to think.  And I had to leave work early during all of this to attend Jake’s parent/teacher conference and to pick up Ben early from preschool when he was sick on a different day. Jake started Spring soccer which means playing on two leagues, coordinating shuttling him to the practices and games that go with each and finishing up the Winter league which overlaps for a couple of weeks. I had to wrap up the fundraiser for Bens preschool that I agreed to chair. The Never King got some attention that I should have addressed and will, but I’m already behind. The Scotsman suggested I start another blog that includes comprehensive a list of of kid friendly convenience foods that I consider “real food” (see previous post) to make it easier for like-minded parents to shop without having to double the time it takes them in the grocery due to label reading. A great idea and I appreciate his support, but with what time? There was also laundry to be done, dinner to be cooked, and children to be played with. Oh – and blog posts to be written and "binder recipes" (see two posts ago) to try. And last week my seasonal allergies were in full force so I did all of the above (or worried about the fact that I didn’t get to a lot of the above) in a Benadryl-induced fog.

So that leaves me with today’s (lame) post and the question: am I crazy to think I can do it all? Am I putting too much pressure on myself? I want to work at my day job , make The Never King and The Bedwyr Press a success, be involved in Jake and Bens schools and after school activities, have a clean house, clean clothes and a good meal on the table. But is it possible to do all this or do I have to make compromises with myself? Or should I just shut up and stop whining because I know I’m very blessed? Anyone else feel this way?

I did manage to work in a little reading during all of this. Coming up I have thoughts on Caleb’s Crossing by Geraldine Brooks, Gwyneth Paltrows new cookbook (don’t judge) and a cookbook by an author I “met” on an online forum. I’m also looking for my next good read – any suggestions?

Reading, Cleaning & Bourguignon

Yesterday I had an unexpected day home from work. Jake, my seven year old, stayed from school with a fever. He spent most of the day napping and watching TV, which left me with a lot of time on my hands since my littlest guy was at preschool.

Normally, an unexpected day at home would send me on a mad cleaning spree, giving myself impossible goals for the day like cleaning out all of the closets in the house. This time, I decided to see if "baby steps" are all they're cracked up to be and assigned myself four tasks; cleaning out my (very messy) car, getting caught up on laundry, cleaning out the fridge and cleaning out Ben's cubby when I picked him up from preschool (it was full of artwork, photos, socks, etc.)

None of these tasks took me very long. I finished them with plenty of time to snuggle with Jake and read a book (God's Lions: The Dark Ruin. I'll write more about it another day. In the meantime, support Indie authors!). I thought that rather than feeling like I'd accomplished something by completing these tasks, I would feel on edge thinking of all the other things I could be doing instead of relaxing on the couch with Jake. The disaster that is Jake's room and the giant dust bunnies under the bed come to mind. I'm happy to report this was not the case at all. Completing these seemingly small tasks took weight off my shoulders and cleared some mental clutter, with not a single thought about the other things I could have taken care of.

That said, Jake's room is truly horrifying. My little man is going to have to help me take care of it sooner rather than later.

Before the day was over I made a pot of Beef Bourguignon. I do a riff on Ina Gartens version from her book Barefoot in Paris. Her version is delicious but too time consuming and wine-y for a family meal. So I've pared down the recipe and make it at least a couple of times a month (recipe below).

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to start the boys bedtime routine an then watch Zero Dark Thirty with The Scotsman. If any of you have any favorite beef stew recipes I'd love to hear about them.

Shortened (and less wine-y) Beef Bourguignon (serves 4 with a little bit of leftovers)
Adapted from Ina Garten

1 TBS olive oil
4-oz bacon, diced (sometimes I get lazy and ditch the bacon)
1.5 lbs beef stew meat, cut into cubes
salt and pepper to taste
1.5 cups baby carrots
1 onion, sliced
1 tsp minced garlic
1 bottle dry red wine
1 cup beef broth
1 TBS tomato paste
1 tsp dried thyme
2 TBS unsalted butter
1.5 TBS all purpose flour
1 cup frozen pearl onions
8-oz mushroom, quartered

Preheat the oven to 250.

Heat the oil in a large dutch oven. Add the bacon (if using) and cook until browned, about 8 minutes. Remove the bacon from the pan and set aside on a plate.

Dry the beef cubes with a paper towel (both Ina and my stepmother swear this will make the beef brown better. They're both excellent cooks so I believe them.). Sear the beef in the hot oil (and bacon fat if you used bacon) turning to brown on all sides. Remove the beef and place it on the plate with the bacon.

Add the carrots, sliced onions, salt and pepper to the pan. Stir occasionally and cook until the onions are slightly browned. Add the garlic and cook for one more minute.

Put the bacon and beef back into the pot. Add half of the bottle of wine (and then pour yourself a glass out of what's left) and the beef broth. Make sure there is enough liquid to just cover the beef. If not, add more wine or broth (your choice.) Add the tomato paste and thyme. Bring to a boil, cover the pot tightly with a lid and cook it in the oven for about 1 1/4 hours (because of this, I usually make the Bourguignon up to this step the day or night before I want to serve it, and do the following steps on the day it is to be eaten.)

Remove the pot from the oven (or the fridge if you made it the day before.) Combine 1 TBS of butter and the flour and stir into the stew. Add the frozen pearl onions. In  separate pan (I know, another pan to wash. But I swear this step is worth it,) saute the mushrooms in the remaining tablespoon of butter. Cook until lightly browned and then add them to the stew. Bring the stew to a boil and then simmer for 15 minutes. Voila! You're done!

 The meat is so dark from the wine. This is  photo of the batch I made yesterday. I decided to add tiny Yukon Gold potatoes because they had been sitting forlornly on the counter for quite a few days. I added them just before I put the stew in the oven.

Before I Go To Sleep

I think it’s possible that I haven’t had a good nights sleep in almost exactly 7 years. In a couple of weeks my oldest, Jake, will turn 7. Not only will it be the seventh anniversary of the day I finally got to meet my precious little boy, it will also be the anniversary of the day I stopped sleeping well.

Jake has never been a good sleeper. When he was a baby he had acid reflux which was worse when he was lying down. Add this to your normal nocturnal infant feeding schedule and it makes for two very tired parents. After Jake outgrew the acid reflux he still didn’t sleep well. He gave up his nap completely at 18 months old and to this day wakes up in the middle of the night an crawls into bed with us. I know we could send him back to his own bed but we’re so tired we take the path of least resistance and let him stay.

My little one, Ben, was a much better sleeper as an infant. But now at the age of 4 we are starting to have sleep issues with him. He calls for us multiple times in the middle of the night deal for anything and everything – water, to but his blankets back on, a stuffed animal. I’m putting my thinking cap on as to how to deal with this. I’m leaning towards a sticker chart (earning stickers for sleeping through the night), but I’m open to other ideas.

So, I’ve spent the past few years sleep deprived. I think I may finally be used to it by now. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good nights sleep that I can’t remember what it feels like, but I wouldn’t change my munchkins for the world.

Last night was a tough night – Jake came in to our room at around midnight and Ben was up a lot with a nasty cough. But I can’t blame the boys for my zombie-like state today. I stayed up much later than I should have reading Before I Go To Sleep by S. J. Watson. Christine Lucas has a rare and troubling memory problem. Each night when she goes to sleep, her mind erases her memory, not just of that day, but her whole life with the exception of her childhood. Each morning she wakes up thinking she is a much younger version of herself and has to learn the truth about her life (and the people in it), only to forget again upon falling asleep. The only way for her to survive is to trust those closest to her, but she is beginning to realize that they may not be telling her the whole truth.

I can't remember the last time I read a book that was so good that I finished it in one day. Especially one as long as this (495 pages.) Part of the reason for that is that I have two kids who keep me busy doing other things besides reading. But a large part is because I can't think of a book in recent memory (no pun intended) that was completely un-put-downable(really, that's a word).

Before I Go To Sleep was thrilling and well-written. You know that something is not right and that at least some of the characters are not who or what they seem to be, but you are kept guessing until the very end. Watson writes beautifully making it easy to get lost in the story. This book defines the term "page-turner". Check it out, but only if you know you can sleep in the next day!

How do you get through the day after a night of not-so-great sleep?

Stuck in a Dinner Rut

I’m stuck in a dinner rut. You know what I mean – trying to plan your meals for the week and having no inspiration. What I don’t understand is that if you told me I needed to plan a dinner party or a holiday meal I’d be able to plan multiple, intricate, yummy, interesting meals in a matter of minutes. Ask me to plan some basic dinners for the family and I’m stuck staring at a blank page. Why, why, why? What is so hard about this?

I don’t know the answer to that question but obviously I’ve been asking it for years. I poked through some old and emails found an email to my husband from November of 2011 listing all the various meals I could think of for lunch and dinner. It must not have been very inspiring to either of us as it hasn’t been looked at since….November of 2011. And looking at it now isn’t exactly getting the culinary juices flowing, either.

I think this issue is a big reason why family dinners are so hard. And I’d like to think I’m not alone. It’s one thing to manage to get the family gathered around the dinner table. It’s a different matter to come up with what your going to serve. I think for me, the issue performance anxiety. I’m afraid to try something new in case someone doesn’t like it. My husband is not a fan of pasta so that’s out (although I’m working on him). The kids surprise me with what they do and don’t like. So rather than taking a chance I do nothing at all.

I still don’t know what we’re going to eat in the coming week. But in the meantime I’ll leave you with a recipe for an old favorite that appeared on that 2011 email. This is the best beef brisket you’ll ever have. I demanded the recipe from my friend Kerry years ago after eating it at her house. It was so good I made it for dinner that same night (it was THAT good). I’ve tried other brisket recipes but none of them have held a candle to this one.

Kerry’s Beef Brisket (aka The Best Brisket You’ll Ever Eat)

3 lbs single cut beef brisket

1 cup ketchup

½ cup brown sugar

½ cup cider vinegar

1 pkg dry onion soup mix

½ cup water

½ cup BBQ sauce

Preheat oven to 375®

Place the brisket in a 13x9 dish. In a medium bowl, mix together the other ingredients and pour over the brisket.

Cover the brisket tightly with foil and bake for 3 ½ hours. Remove from oven and let cool.

Slice the meat against the grain and return to the sauce. Reheat in the over for approx. 20 minutes.

The Culinary Bibliophile - Who The Heck Am I?

I have blog envy. It seems as if everyone I know has a blog except for me. I’m not envious because it’s brought  them fame, fortune or technological skills that far surpass mine. No, I’m jealous because I am told that writing a blog is a great creative release and well, it’s fun.

So here’s my blog. Why did I call it The Culinary Bibliophile? In short because it popped into my brain and sounded good (at least to me). But it speaks to my two passion; food and books. And books that have to do with food (including cookbooks). So I imagine there will be posts about recipes I’ve tried, want to try and my ongoing quest to be more creative with family dinner, a la Dinner: A Love Story. Books will also make an appearance, including the recently released The Never King by George Tyson, published by my tiny publishing company The Bedwyr Press. My quest to promote this book could be the subject of a whole other blog, but one is enough for now.

A little more about me: I’m in my early thirties, married to a Scotsman and live in a suburb of Boston. I have two fabulous little boys, ages 7 and 4. I’m a banker by day and a publisher in my “spare time”. Now that my boys are older and thus a little more independent, I’m trying to get back into the activities I loved pre-kids but didn’t have much time for in baby and toddler years.  Namely reading more, experimenting in the kitchen more, and having more “experiences” that fit in with my passions, such as actually going to book club meetings (I have belonged to two for nearly 10 years, but my attendance has been spotty in the past few years), taking some cooking classes, and finally, FINALLY getting my house at least somewhat organized. Oh – and I want to run a 5k despite being completely out of shape as I write this. A friend wants me to run one with her 10 weeks from now. We’ll see. I’m sure all of these subjects will make an appearance in the blog, too.

So that’s me in a nutshell. I’ll be back soon with my latest kitchen experiment and my thoughts on what I’m currently reading. I’m also in need of some recipes with spinach as the main ingredient (I’ll explain later) so if anyone is reading this and has a great spinach recipe, let me know.